does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I think weed is turning my hair brown
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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