me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize