I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
