You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
