She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
