I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
