Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
