She said her name was "party"
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
