just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
