i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
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When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
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You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
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