Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
