Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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