I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
