My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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