So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
