Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
