You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
