You just made me feel so damn special
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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