I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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