Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
