Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
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