the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Randomize
