last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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