You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
