She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Don't tell me you're on acid again
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
