Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize