He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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