Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
