I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
