So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Randomize
