biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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