I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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