its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
