Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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