Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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