I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
he was CRYING into my vagina
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I could fuck to npr.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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