i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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