What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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