I'm gonna have a badass scar
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
