Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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