her vagine was all disorganized.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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