I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
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