he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
