I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
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I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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