we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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