Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i want to swaddle you in tequila
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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