sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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