This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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