She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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