I'm really into asian looking animals
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
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