I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
