she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
do herpes really smell.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
