That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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