I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
