I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
