just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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