just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
People in love make me want to vomit
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
