my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
