I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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