My hair reeks of homosexuality.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
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