Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
