I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
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