I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Randomize
