He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
