oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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