Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
