She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
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