she woke up with a sticky ear
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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